Burners Will Kill You in Your Dreams

At first, they were just gross, with their DayGlo feather boas, ten-gallon hats and atonal music coming out of a 1990s boombox.

In this dream, I didn't have a car, so whenever I needed groceries I had to go to the store in their VW Bus, with the seats pulled out and shag carpet glued to the floor. On the way back, they got me high, so I forgot my groceries inside the Bus and they rotted in the sun.

There was also this one hot hipster girl, with short blonde hair, dressed ironically like Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C. Or maybe it was a rhinestone American flag bikini... Or maybe she changed outfits? Anyway, I guess I was trying to creep on her in my dream so that kept me lurking around the hipster colony.

Yeah, at first they were just annoying, but then they turned menacing.

Gradually, and somewhat like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, (lamed not physically, but soulfully, right? I'm still a dweeb in my dreams), I discover that the hipsters/Burners/Merry Pranksters are making meth and working for Al Qaeda.

So they start hunting me with bows and arrows and I run away into the forest, and the blonde hipster girl is lost to me forever. Sad face.