How do you know you're almost 30, but still have the mind of a 12-year-old?
Last night I had a dream that I was snowboarding and watching porn on Mars. (One of its moons actually – the powder was so fresh.) But I also dreamt that I had to fill out all these release forms to get there.
Get out of my dreams, lawyers! I want to enjoy my porn on Mars in peace.
There are days when I'm looking at my life through thick glass. I think you know the feeling. There are days when you care, and days when you... don't. Can't?
Kerstin and I camp in a pony pasture and chase the solar eclipse across Texas.
We popped out into the sun-bleached streets, and there beside us were Corrin and Dafne, rising up the BART escalator. “Hey! You dressed up!” Corrin lit up and Dafne ducked behind him. With eight minutes to curtain, we walked briskly in the summer breeze. Kerstin nearly started skipping, a will-o’
I guess it was my fault. Kerstin would like the karaoke condoms to be accessible, right as you’re running out the door. In case of a karaoke emergency. I moved them, in a fit of spring cleaning, to the champagne bucket under the table with the car keys and