The Eye of the Needle
one of the BIG plusses of freelancing is that when you work a lot, you make a lot of money. but that can be a problem too, because unlike all your friends who have a salary, you don't necessarily want to stop working.
i got really tense and stressed out last month, and so caught up in my work that some days the only way i could relax was by revising my revenue estimates for the month. essentially counting my money.
No music, no art, no eating my lunch in the sunshine on the back deck. I even snapped at Laina one night after a really stressful week.
It reminded me, somewhat unexpectedly, of my Christian upbrining. suddenly i understood something of what Jesus meant when he said:
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
Because when you're rich, you spend all your time counting your money.
I'm proud that for right now, i'm successful at my job, but at some point last month, without realizing it, I went right past success, right past "enough," and slipped into some kind of manic, single-minded excess.
i've had to dial it back this month, and get back into things like blogging that are more worthwhile, and feel better, than revising up revenue estimates.
